I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
