i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
