You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
