need another drink. this is the easiest way
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Randomize
