my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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