She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
