:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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