She's JV to your varsity
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
