pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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