There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
