I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
