I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
