you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
