i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
