The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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