girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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