I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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