just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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