Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
