Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
