Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
