Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
