big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
