my mouth tastes like poor choices
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
