just come out here and I will go home with you...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
