and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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