id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
