just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
