she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
