I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Randomize
