We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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