Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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