Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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