I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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