I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
