glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
