walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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