Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
