Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
