what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
