Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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