So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
