Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
