The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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