She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
