why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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