Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Buhtt sex?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize