It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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