im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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