i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
