my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
